Wednesday, February 27, 2008

My Family


This is what I wake up next to and go to bed with every night. I do make gorgeous children if I do say so myself. "lil borther" is the youngest he'll be 1 on March 27 th. It's crazy how fast they grow up, I hate so mush that our lives slip threw our fingertips and we reach out to grab it to find out it's to late to grasp what we would love to hold on to. Live every moment like it were your last. "big brother" is 3 he is full of life, energy and imagination i only wish I could bottle it up and sell it. I'd be RICH! "Daddy" is my boy friend we've been together for 3 years and our relationship is the best it's ever been every day gets better and better, and that's all I can ask for. My biggest problem with our relationship is that he doesn't tell me how he feels. I am a VERY emotional person I always have been. I only wish that he would tell me how he feels at all he gives me NOTHING to work with. for example when I was pregnant with lil brother I was talking to him about not having any medication in labor he said "whatever you want babe", which sounds great but I wanted him to tell me how he felt about it. If he was going to be there to tell me to be strong, But nothing he left it all up to me. That is one of the more serious things we've been thou and all I want was to know how he felt. Making dinner. He would ask me "what are you making for dinner babe?" I would say "I don't know what would you like" "whatever you want babe" AAHH there's nothing I hate more then hearing him say that. But I love him to death, I couldn't see myself with anyone else he's my daddy. And then there's me... oh goodness where do i begin...

What a life

I just moved to northern California where my mom's boy friend bought myself and my family a home on 3.72 acers. I've never felt more safe, content, scared, stressed and alone at the same time. I am so grateful for my life and my family but some days I'm not so sure i can do it. God will we keep pressing on and hope for the best everyday take it as it comes and do with it what we can.